Husbands can cheat!

“Your Husband is cheating on you”, I blurted out. She looked up from the diaper she was changing and said ” Yeah, I know”. Huh??? What do you mean by I know? That’s it? I wanted to know.

‘Well’, she said settling down the baby in her arms, ‘ I am aware that he has another one in his life. But what do you want me to do? He loves my kids, he is still their father. May be out of guilt but he spends extra time with them and with me and we are happy at that time. He is getting attentive about things at home and how the kids are responding to him. But he needs another women to keep him happy, its sad but frankly, I couldn’t care less at the moment.’

I couldn’t believe what i was hearing. How can anyone be alright about her husband cheating on her? ‘No I am not alright about it. But what will you have me do? Scream and shout and upset myself? Cause no matter what I do, he is not returning back to me till he sees sense on his own. And I am not leaving him cause my kids love him and need him for a stable life.’

Ok, but have you confronted him at least? I asked.’ No.  What would you have me say to him? Ask him why he can’t be happy with me, his wife for 7 years? Why he needs to go to her to satisfy him? what did I do to deserve this? I loved him, left my career to have and raise his kids, gave up whatever life I had in the process, only to find out that he is having an affair? Is it fair? No. But out of this guilt he is becoming a better father, and our relation is also much better. We are not fighting constantly like we used to. Earlier he was all mine and we were spending 70% of that time fighting. Now he may be spending 3/4th the time with me and the kids, but we are happy almost 95% of the time. I am happier and that gives me positive energy to deal with the kids. There are times when I get upset thinking about his affair, but for most times I don’t have the time or the energy to dwell into it.’

 
I was surprised… but some part of what she said made sense. She was happier, and so I left the topic. But I am still not comfortable with this thought. Why is it ok for a husband to find happiness outside his home when his wife was ready to sacrifice her career and her own happiness for their kids and him? When will he realise that what he is doing is wrong, and in the long run will cause trouble in the world he has created. What is he thinking? How long will a girl continue an affair with a married man? What happens when his kids find out about his affair? There have been movies made on this topic with a happy ending of him returning to his wife. The wife always forgives him. But is this right?  Will we always keep forgiving men for every mistake they make because they are our ” Patti permeshwar” ( God in form of husband)?

Well .. Still troubled.