A friend of mine is getting married and, like all bachelors, is worried about the responsibility he is taking. Though I know he is probably the last person to read this blog, I thought I’ll still share it with those who choose to read it.
What do women want? What will make them happy?
What would make a marriage work?
Okie, so there are a lot of things, small and big, and I can’t even hope to cover it all. But I will keep it simple.
Women want to feel like the princess they read about in the fairy tales.
They don’t mind playing second to someone in most aspects of life but when it comes to marriage or “their guy” they have to be the number one.. they have to be the princess who their charming prince tries to “sweep off their feet”.
So if you can make her feel like that princess even 60% of the time, you will have a very happy wife who is ready to go through whatever you put her through the rest of the time.. and yes it includes late nights at work and even an occasional boys time out!
So remember 60% of the time after marriage should be such that she feels like a princess. Even if it is a simple call telling her you will be late, or that you like how she smells, or that you think that a little fat makes her look sweet! I am not saying you stop working and spent the whole day admiring her.. no no no.. Making someone feel special doesn’t take the whole day.. It just takes a few minutes, a few thoughtful minutes.
Of course she wants to be the most important lady in your life. She will not want to play second to anyone, not even your mother. Take it as you want… but if you can make her feel that even though you love your mother, she is still the most important person in your life, your wife can be your mother’s best friend.
Keep your Promises – or don’t make them. Broken promises hurt more because it feels like betrayal. So if you are promising her now, before marriage, that you will have a cook and she doesn’t need to step inside a kitchen unless she wants to, stick to it, or else don’t say anything like this.
Say you are sorry when you know you have made a mistake. You might have said something or you might have forgotten some occassion that was important to her, don’t make it an ego issue. Just say sorry. It works much better than you imagine.
Trust her. There is nothing that feels worse than a husband who won’t trust you. Despite all the Saas-Bahu serials you see on TV, not every daughter in law is out to destroy you and your family. She may not know how to communicate with you yet, but she will learn. But till she does, trust her that she is not always speaking against you or your family or to cause a rift between you. Ask her what she really wants before you decide she is the black sheep of the family. She may just have a different perspective about things. Either you will learn from her or she will start to realize how things work in your family.
And finally, learn to forgive and give her a chance. Like all humans, she will make mistakes- may be a lot of them. Instead of holding them against her for the rest of your life, forgive her and give her a chance to improve.
All the best trying to figure out the rest!